your heaven's a lie .

[. ash]

Jaded. A nice club. That was what Ash had found out while exploring the small town of Green County. He was sitting on a stool near the bar, flipping through the pages of the book in which all the available songs were written down. Most of them were either oldies, or the popular stuff you could see on television lately. The male didn’t like that kind of music. Though there were a few good ones. Ash gazed at the empty bottle of Smirnoff Ice in front of him, and sighed softly. That had been the second one this night. Enough to make him more talkative, not enough to blur his mind yet. He would probably have one more, then go home. Wherever that may be. He was still staying at the hotel. But he had enough money. His parents would give him more if he’d ask for it. His dad earned enough. His voice clear, and pretty loud in order to be heard, Ash ordered his third drink, and took a small sip when the bartended gave him the bottle in exchange for a few coins.

The adolescent looked around. Most people he saw were teenagers. Then there were adults. Rarely he could see someone older than thirty. The music stopped, a small group of girl got off stage, a few twenty five-year-old guys took their place. “Summer of ’69” filled the club, and a small smile appeared on Ash’s features. He liked this song. He sang along, even though he knew his voice sucked. But who would hear him? No one.

[[ j a y ] - [ s a f f ]]

Saff blew slightly out of the side of her mouth, sending her black tipped locks fluttering away from her eye. But only for a second. Soon they were back in place - covering her vision, and she shook her head to get rid of them. Chewing slightly on her lip ring she made her way through the crowds, one hand around the neck of the bottle of a bacardi, thumb over the open top. She had heard enough horror stories of girls being drugged to be careful. And of course - it had nearly happenned to her. More than once. She shivered slightly. When she had left, she had still been on the alcohol. Even Ash hadn't been able to stop her from it. But she'd got so sick since he'd been torn out of her heart, that she just couldn't face it.

So now she was normal. just one drink whenever she went out. Or maybe two. But that was it. Always. Draining her bottle she put it down on the counter and turned back, grinning as the song came on. She knew it pretty well, having to listen to it with Ash. She'd hated it pretty much, but now it kind of had an edge. She liked it. But she'd always prefer the Hives. Still, she moved onto the dancefloor, which was fairly empty. Most people semed reluctant to dance - maybe they just didn't know the song. Saff was a good dancer, but not in the attention-attracting kind of way. She prefered to stay invisible. Well, when I say dancer... perhaps mosher would be a better term

[. ash]

The male sighed softly. Every time he heard a nice song, he’d want to play his guitar. It had been ages since he had last felt the strings against his finger tips. The six-string just lied in its case under his bed, locked. The hotel’s owner and guests wouldn’t appreciate the sweet sounds of modern music. It sucked. Maybe he’d have to move out and find an apartment where he could live. It would be better in any way. Cheaper; less snobby people; maybe more people of his age.

He stared at the bottle. It was half empty. He couldn’t remember drinking of it after that first sip. But apparently he had. He lifted his skull and looked around. Almost everyone was dancing. He had never been into it. Sometimes he’d do a few ridiculous moves to hardcore techno music with a few friends, but that was it. He preferred concerts, where he could mosh. Talking about moshing, one person didn’t seem too good at dancing. He recognised the female, and grinned softly. Some adults looked at her with an odd expression, and Ash could understand why. But she was his friend, his best friend, and even more to him, and he only found it a Saff-like thing to do.

He wondered how to get her attention, but shook his head. As long as she’d be dancing, she wouldn’t pay attention to her surroundings. He’d have to wait till the song was over, and then – do something. It had again been a while, and Ash felt slightly guilty. Maybe that was why he was here at this very moment, and not relaxing in his hotel room.

[[ j a y ] - [ s a f f ]]

Usually she wouldn't pay attention to the stares she was getting from people. but usually, when she moshed, she was either at a concert - or Ash was beside her. WIthout him she looked aroun dto much, saw the laughing, or the slightly frightened looks, and gradually stopped, until she was just standing still, blinking slightly - not hearing the music any more. The lights got into her eyes, blinding her and she backed off the floor as another slow song started and couples started dfifting onto the floor.

It took her a few moments, but suddenly she found herself unconsciously singing along, and then somethign clicked in her memory - some kind of trigger - bringing back summers and winters, and all the times in between, spent listening to this one song. In school, in the park, wherever. But always within reaching distance of Ash's hand.

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

She blinked slightly, her heart suddenly slipping away, the beating seemed to stop. She stepped backwards into darkness until her back was against the wall. He'd been ther, just for a few hours. Then the next mornign she'd woken up, and thought it was a dream. Had convinced herself it was a dream - because she hadn't seen him since.

[. ash]

With a frown on his forehead, Ash saw the female stop dancing, and eventually backing off, till he couldn’t see her anymore. Not long after, the last tones of ’69 faded away, and Ash sighed dramatically. He emptied the bottle and slid off the stool. A moment later someone else occupied it, and the male turned away from the bar, the frown still on his features. He looked into the direction he had seen Saffron before she had vanished, and started making his way to the other side of the club. In order to do so, he had to push people aside, but he didn’t care. Some of them even made place for him after one single look.

The next song touched his heart. It started beating faster and faster, and strangely enough, it started aching. Until a familiar face came in sight again. Saff blinked and her back collided with the wall. Ash knew how much she loved this song, for after all, it had been their song, it had been special – it was special. After a few more moments he found himself standing in front of the pale skinned girl and the frown disappeared. With a grin upon his kissers, he extended his hand and took hers in his, tugging lightly as he looked at her with his dark brown eyes, a sparkle in them that had always been there, ever since he had stopped hating her, that is.

How people, and their relationships could change. But as people say, ‘there’s only a thin line between love and hate.’ Ash had experienced it, and truth be told, he was happy everything had gone this way. It had made him stronger. Now, he knew that first impressions could be wrong. Two years ago, first impressions had been sacred. First impressions had never been wrong. Until the start of that particular school year.

[[ j a y ] - [ s a f f ]]

Saff bit down hard on her lip, not hearing the soft clink of the two metal rings on her teeth, but knowing that it happened. It always did. She used to sing along to this all the time, not even having to think of the words. They had just been there, all ready when her mouth opened. This was the only song she could listen to without moshing - it was the only slow one she ever really listened to since she'd stopped living in the dark. Since she'd left her dad behind. Maybe it was because she was happy that he would never see her again, or maybe because of the absence of drugs and alcohol to give her kicks, she listened to more lively music. But she knew somewhere that neither of those reasons was the right one. She was trying to mend her heart, or at least cover it up.

And then she felt someone take her hand and she tensed, suspecting some sleazy drunken guy to be looming over her, his breath stinking of alcohol. She looked up quickly, and her breath stopped just for a few seconds. Because she knew those dark eyes, that face so well, and wondered how she'd not recognized his touch. Her hand slowly raised, fingertips brushing lightly against his cheek and a small grin cracked her blank mask, her hand stretching slightly as she tightened her grip, slipping her fingers in between his.

[. ash]

He felt her tense, and he tilted his skull to the right as she look up and recognised him. He didn’t want to know what she had been thinking before she had looked up. The tensing wasn’t something good. Had something bad happened to her since the last time he had seen her? Still, that wasn’t something to worry about now. Now, was the time to forget all worries, and be together. How romantic. Like kids on the verge of becoming teenagers, holding hands. Ash was almost adult, but when being with Saffron, he often felt like a little boy. He just couldn’t help it. Usually, the male was supposed to make the female feel at ease, but when around Saff, Ash felt safe.

He turned around and pulled her with him, onto the dancefloor. They were quite the couple. Two people who both didn’t look like they’d ever be in love with someone, between all those perfect couples. The masculine didn’t care. All those perfect couples would have a huge fight and break up after a few months. Just because they were so ‘perfect’. The other one would never be perfect enough to satisfy their perfect needs.
Ash let go of Saff’s hand and gently laid his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him, but giving her enough space to stay as far away from him as she’d like to.

[[ j a y ] - [ s a f f ]]

She just let him lead her, like she used to. Or was it her that was always pulling him along? That was one thing she could never remember. perhaps they'd both done it sometimes, or perhaps they'd just always walked side by side. Or perhaps her brain was just thinking of things it didn't need to worry about. Altough she could remember being in town with him, or even jsut at the markets, buying chips from the van - just normal things. And having some kiddish delight inside her, a kind of hyperness, that she had someone who loved her, and wanted her just the way she was.

The tilted her head slightly as he lead her onto the dancefloor, and felt his arms around her waist. But it seemed that he was giving her room, like she was some spikey thing. Well, she suppsoed that was to be expected after so long apart, not knowing how the other felt. But right then, she just wanted to be near him. She stepped forwards, lifting her arms to go round his neck and burying her face into his chest. Okay, so she wasn't exactly tall enough to look over his shoulder - unless she stood on tippy toes. The grin became bigger, although no-one could see it, as she took in his fmiliar scent. So long since she'd been with him, but that smell was imprinted on her memory, just like the shape of his face, his eyes, his mouth, and his personality. All the things that made him different from the others - made him into what he was, and made him the only one she'd loved, and ever would love

[. ash]

Well. Apparently Saff still wanted it to be like it used to be. The two of them, together, for ever. A smile lit up the male’s features as he felt her against him, and he lifted one hand to softly stroke the back of her head. His feet slowly moved on the rhythm of the song, yet only because he told them to. He’d rather stand still and enjoy these moments. Which was easier when you didn’t have to concentrate on trying not to step on your companion’s feet. Ash wasn’t really good at this – dancing. He didn’t feel very comfortable on a dance floor, and when he didn’t feel comfortable, he’d get clumsy.

Those good old times. When they had gone to school together; sat on the swings in the park, together; written songs, together. When their parents had still been there. At least, Ash’s parents. Now everything was different. They couldn’t be as carefree anymore. The male realised that if what they felt for each other wouldn’t be strong enough, it wouldn’t survive the hard times that would definitely come. His eyes moved their vision downwards and he looked at Saffron. He’d do anything for her.

-- ooc -- crappppp --

[[ j a y ] - [ s a f f ]]

Saff wanted to get lost in this moment, like she had doen so many times before. Almost every moment with Ash was one she wanted to hold onto and keep forever - sometmes even when they were arguing. Which had always been rare. She rarely ever managed it, although she remembered them all. There were a total of about 1 memories she would never let go of, no matter if everything else was ripped away from her. Number one was the first time they met, with him glued onto his chair. She'd always said that was the moment that she first started loving him, although with Saff that could easily be teasing. Number two? The first time they kissed, and she suddenly could feel everything, his touch, the breeze playing with her hair and brushing lightly across her skin, and the shivers going down her spine. Third was her favourite - some day in the summer, lying in the grass in his arms, just talking. She could remember watching a blue butterfly skimming just above the tall grass. And finally, the night onto of the cliffs, with tears streaming down her cheeks as she pulled back his hood and saw him.

It sememd her entire life up till now - up til this moment - was made of memories of him. But now maybe she could start looking forwards. She'd managed to make it this far along the tunnel, and now with Ash holding her hand she could see the lights and started to run, knowing that soon enough she could break out into the sun.

Grinning slightly as she rmembered how much Ash didn't like dancing she stepped back and took his hand again and lead him gently off the dancefloor. She wasn't that great either, unless it was headbanging or crowd surfing, and the song was ending anyway. The writhing mass of bodies, and the steaming hot house lights wasn't where she wanted to be right now.

[. ash]

The masculine could only guess what the girl was thinking, but did he really want to know? Some things just aren’t meant to be shared with others. When Saff stopped dancing and led him away from the dance floor, he gave her a thankful look, a smile curling his lips. They knew each other too well. Who had ever guessed these two teenagers would ever feel this for each other? Not Ash, for sure. Not on that first day anyway.

He didn’t loosen his grip on Saff’s hand, on the contrary; he squeezed her hand lightly and gave a nod in the door’s direction. A few moments later, he was making his way through the ‘crowd’ as he preferred calling the twenty-thirty people that stood between Ash and the door. But this frame hadn’t been given to him to do nothing with it. He used it to push people aside if they weren’t fast enough. He had never had much patience in these kinds of situations.

Still, his face showed no emotion, until he finally reached the heavenly door. A look of relief flashed across his pale features; all of a sudden he wondered why he had come here. At least he had had fun, especially after he had seen Saff, which had been... five minutes ago. Oh well. It didn’t matter. The door was open. Finally, his lungs were able to inhale fresh air. Not the smelly air of inside; the result of sweating bodies, cigarettes, joints, and alcohol. All mixed together.

[[ j a y ] - [ s a f f ]]

She was glad at least that Ash hadn't been freaked by finding her in a club - in close proximity to all the alcohol she could afford. But she shook her head slightly, that had been gone for a while, and she was happy now that she had the control to only buy one, drink it and then have some fun. Okay well 'fun'. She didn't know anyone here, she'd pretty much kept herself curled up tight. So as much fun as a person can have by themselves, which isn't all that cool actually.

Still, she was making to much of a small thing again and she tootled after Ash, grinning as most people stepped out of his way. Not that he was threatening or anything, just that most people knew that they didn't want to stand where Ash wanted to go. Except her, she always wanted to be where he wanted to go.

Stepping outside she gratefully inhaled, her lungs inflating as she breathed in the cold, sharp air. She had a warm jacket on, having got used to not having an excuse to take Ash's. But perhaps now he was back - she could go back to wearing some useless thing and stealing his. She liked doing that, because his jackets always smelled of him. Well duh Saff.

She tugged slightly on his hand to stop him and at the same time stepped till she stood infront of him. She titled her head slightly, a smile on her pale rose lips.